u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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