If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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