Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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