When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
