If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
