The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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