So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
