so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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