I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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