is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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