I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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