does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
