Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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