she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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