Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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