...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Screwed.edu
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
