take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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