According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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