Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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