Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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