She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
