you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
