Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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