apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize