She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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