We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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