He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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