just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
