if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
