After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
