It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
