Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
