We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell her she can't have a vagina
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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