don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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