If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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