i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
