i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
