I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
