I cockslap morals
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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