i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
