I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
