i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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