I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
