You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
vagina is talking i cant
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
