I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize