Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
