He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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