party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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