I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
