i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
