I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
