if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
