I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
