Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize