I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize