...so i touched it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
