Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
