Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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