I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
