Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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