She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
