if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
as a side note pls kill me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
