My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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