i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
